Cannibal Chic

The Question of the Week from my last post was whether the advice from Rudyard Kipling’s poem If— was equally appropriate for men and women. He tells his son how to “be a man”, but would the same qualities (level-headedness,  a stoic attitude toward adversity, and always giving one’s best effort) make his daughter a woman? I suspect that modern feminists would agree that all humans, regardless of sex, are made great or virtuous by the same virtues. Although this seems like a departure from traditional evaluation of the sexes, this view is in line with a much older philosophical tradition.

In his essay Upon Some Verses of Virgil Montaigne writes:

“I say that males and females are cast in the same mold, and that, education and usage excepted, the difference is not great. Plato indifferently invites both the one and the other to the society of all studies, exercises, and vocations, both military and civil, in his commonwealth; and the philosopher Antisthenes rejected all distinction between their virtue and ours. It is much more easy to accuse one sex than to excuse the other; ’tis according to the saying ‘The Pot and the Kettle.'”

So we see that from antiquity, certain philosophers recognized that men and women have the same virtues, capacities and inherent rights. (Even if political rights are not meted out equally.)

Montaigne, however, can be a tricky author to nail down. This statement of equality seems somewhat at odds with his glorification of the natives of Brazil, whose “ethics are comprised in these two articles, resolution in war, and affection to their wives.” These virtues are specifically masculine since in their culture war and wife taking are for men alone. The only real mention of women’s role in Of Cannibals is the preparation of the beverages. Personally, I think that sounds like the most noble of all occupations.

Beer of the Week: Xingu Black Beer – True story: the first words out of my mouth after I tasted this Brazilian dark lager were “Come on Brazil, get your act together!” Judging by the copious carbonation and the sticky, sweet taste, I suspect that there was a translation problem and what was meant to be a cola came out as a beer or vise versa. I am not sure which is worse, but this beer is that one. As a man of science, I always try a beer twice before writing up an official review. Upon trying it a second time, I did detect some of the familiar flavors one gets from a dark roasted malt, but I still didn’t finish my glass. I simply do not like this beer. According to their website, it is based in part on a drink brewed by the natives of Brazil. If the native women had served this to the men of the tribe, I suspect that they would have ended up being served as the next dish at the cannibal feast.

Reading for the Week: Of Cannibals by Montaigne – In this excerpt, Montaigne describes the daily lives and living situation of the Brazilian natives. He also (with the natives and the Scythians) comes down pretty hard on false prophets. He writes: “such as only meddle with things subject to the conduct of human capacity, are excusable in doing the best they can: but those other fellows that come to delude us with assurances of an extraordinary faculty, beyond our understanding, ought they not to be punished?”

Question for the week: “Love for your husband” is a straight-forward female analog for “love your wife.” Is there such an analog for “be resolute in war” if women are not warriors?

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I Cannot Join the Class Action Against Facebook AND be a Class Act

If you are on the Facebook (and I know that you are,) you most likely received an e-mail recently informing you that you are eligible to participate as a co-plaintiff in a class action suit against Facebook Inc. because they used your name or photo in a “Sponsored Post”. I am here to tell you why you ought not participate.

The details are pretty simple: the law suit alleges that Facebook unlawfully used a number of names and images in “Sponsored Posts”. Any Facebook user whose picture or name was used in such an ad is eligible to participate in the suit. The law suit will be settled. In fact, a judge has already denied a proposed settlement. According to NBC, the original proposed settlement was for $20 million. Sounds great, right? Well exactly $0 of that was going to go to the users whose names and images appeared in the ads. $10 million would have gone to the attorneys and the other $10 would have gone to not-for-profit organizations that teach people how to use social media safely. The judge in the case decided that the fact that the users get absolutely nothing was total BS, so they’ve been forced to rework the deal.

In the new proposed settlement, users can get up to $10 each. The final amount has to do with how many people join the class action. If only a few people join, each could get the whole $10. But each person who joins makes each piece of the pie that much smaller. In all probability, enough people will join that the payouts will become so small that the cost of sending out that many checks will become prohibitive. In that (almost certain) event, all the money will revert to the aforementioned not-for-profits. Still, Kwame Opum at Digital Trends says that “you should definitely sign up.” And at first, I agreed with him; it is hard to argue with free money. However, halfway through filling out my own claim form, I decided that I morally could not participate.

The claim form includes a list of declarations that I would have to make to the Court under penalty of perjury:

1. I understand that a story about some action I took on Facebook (such as liking a page, checking
in at a location, or sharing a link), along with my name and/or profile picture, may have been
displayed in a Sponsored Story shown to my Facebook Friends who were authorized by me to
see that action.

Fine. I get that much. I am not at all sure that my name or picture actually was included in a “Sponsored Story”, but I do understand that it may have happened, and that is enough.

2. I was not aware that Facebook could be paid a fee for displaying actions such as these, along with
my name and/or profile picture, to my Facebook Friends.

Again, fine. I was not aware. It seems likely that it is mentioned somewhere in the terms of service, but I didn’t read them. And I suspect that if it were in the terms of service, there wouldn’t be a law suit.

3. If my name and/or profile picture was displayed in a Sponsored Story, I believe I was injured by
that display.

Uh oh. I can imagine scenarios in which such a display could have injured me. Perhaps Nike was on the verge of giving me a huge advertising contract but they decided not to since I had publicly “liked” Puma. Maybe Paul McCartney would have invited me to come jam with him, but he saw that I “liked” meat. So I do believe that I could have been injured by a “Sponsored Story” but that is not what the declaration states. It states that “I believe I was injured by that display.” And that is simply not true. I have no reason to think that I was injured by this practice by Facebook. Even if I think this practice is sneaky, underhanded or even downright wrong, I don’t believe that I was injured by it.

The two remaining declarations are even more noncontinuous than the first two:

4. I am submitting only one Claim Form, regardless of how many Facebook accounts I have.
5. I understand that I am releasing all claims that I have against Facebook and all other
“Released Parties” as set forth in Section 5 of the Settlement Agreement (available at
http://www.fraleyfacebooksettlement.com/court).

So only item three presents a problem. Unfortunately, that problem is insurmountable. I am not willing to perjure myself for a chance at $10. I doubt I’d even perjure myself for a sure $10.

In the end, Facebook will still cough up the same amount whether I join or not; the attorneys will still get their $10 million; and the not-for-profits will almost certainly get theirs. The only difference that would come from sending in my own claim form is that I would know that I made a false statement to the Court. I would never be caught. I would not be tried or convicted of perjury. The only negative consequence would be my own sure knowledge that my word isn’t worth even ten measly dollars.

Beer of the Week: Hofbräu Münchner Weisse – Speaking of legal integrity, Hofbräu has an interesting story. The so called “German Purity Law” (the mythos of which I have previously debunked) prevented most brewers from making wheat beers, but Hofbräu obtained an exemption. This gave them a 200 year jump on the competition and they seem to have made good use of  their head-start. This cloudy wheat beer hits the nose with notes of banana and a hint of clove. The body is superbly smooth and refreshing. Overall, it is simply a wonderful beer.

Reading of the Week:  Of Truth by Francis Bacon – It was inevitable that some author should finally make a second appearance in a Reading of the Week. Bacon receives the honor (such as it is) because his essay Of Truth expresses so beautifully why I refuse to put in a claim in the Facebook settlement: “It will be acknowledged, even by those that practise it not, that clear, and round dealing, is the honor of man’s nature… There is no vice, that doth so cover a man with shame, as to be found false and perfidious.”

Question of the week: I did not write this to be preachy. I know that I am by no means perfect. One of my imperfections is that I do lie on occasion. Is there any lie that does not “cover a man with shame”?